Tuesday, September 16, 2008

On the grave problem of Hospitalization...

I have a friend – not that its news or something, but had to start somewhere. So, yeah….. I have a friend…. – you know this makes me feel as though I were giving Martin Luther King’s ‘I have a dream’ speech:
‘I have a friend who will one day rise up and live out the true meaning of his creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal”
I have a friend who will one day live in a nation where he will not be judged by the colour of his skin but the content of his character.
I have a friend today!’ *chuckles*

Hmm… getting back once again, I have a friend and he incidentally has fallen in love – with his mobile!! No news in this either, just another teenage phenomenon. Still, he loves playing with the cell phone – he may even be cuddling and kissing it right now for all you know, but I don’t have any concrete proof for this hypothesis – and has a habit of sending out sms’s all the time: I get up in the morning to see a msg flashing on my mobile, eat and see it flashing, drink while it still flashes and sleep only to wake up some moments later to discover that it never gets tired of its routine flashing. And what’s more to it is that the sms’s always make me laugh – not because there’s anything funny in them, but because the grammar is simply preposterous! And, Boy, do I die laughing: it nearly kills me every time!!

Now, have I ever thought of telling him about it? Never! Being influence by purism does tend to make you like a sort of propriety while using English, but still, propriety doesn’t matter as long as you can convey your meaning, because that is what language is for: syntax and grammar only help to express yourself – certain experiences have taught me this.

It may, thus, imply that one is free to express oneself, however he or she chooses, but this does not leave out the scope for social blunders while you are at it. *smiles in an Oldest Member-esque fashion (for information of non-Wodehouse fans, this means:‘Beware! He has just remembered a story!!’)* And this just reminds me of a particular incident that very much amused me:

It was one of those beautiful days when all of Nature is involved in a pleasant conspiracy ‘to load and bless’: when the weather is fine, the skies untainted by spots of clouds and the sun in his best mood: moodily settling himself in the skies and radiating his bright sunshine upon the college campus. But, alas! There was no corresponding sunshine in the heart of the Principal who, though cosily seated in his chair, did not appear so by the troubled countenance which he bore. The college was to have a workshop in the coming days and – as is customary of colleges – certain guests were invited. The management of the gathering was so much bothering him that to any passer-by he would have seemed a man intimidated by some strong bully about to turn up to wreck his internal organs with his own bare hands.

It was at this juncture, when it appeared that the thought of bullies was taking too great a toll off his mind, that there was a knock on the door. Coming out of his reverie, the Principal replied to the knock, “Enter!”

And in came two people who looked very much unlike some strong bullies, but rather gave the impression that they were the college staff – and just so they were; they were in-charges of arranging the workshop.

The Principal seemed relieved after seeing them, as though help had just come to Rohan when they fought a losing battle against Sauron.

The Principal re-adjusted himself to his best professional style and asked his compatriots to settle themselves – now was the time for some serious discussion. Over the next half-hour, all the issues on the arrangement-of-the-program-front were resolved and all that remained was the question of accommodating the guests – naturally as the workshop was a multi-day affair the guests had to be accommodated somewhere!!

It was after sometime that the Man-in-the-white-shirt came up with an idea he thought was brilliant: he explained it to the Principal. His colleague was rather pleased with his plan, but the Man in the Chair seemed fairly revolted by his ideas. He even went so far as to point out that the guest were visiting the college for the first time and would be quite displeased with such hospitality.

This disconcerted the man a bit – for he couldn’t perceive what his Boss was babbling, and accounted this to the Old man’s generally eccentric and potty nature – but he was Man of vigour, determination and adamancy, who didn’t easily back down. So, he put through his proposal once again with the same exuberance and sense of pride as before, “I know sir. And that is just why we must hospitalize the guests”

P.S: When my father told me about this incident, I just couldn’t stop laughing and pitying the man for his lack of knowledge. Incase you didn’t find anything funny in it, I’m sorry but I can’t help that. Maybe you could stick around and wait for some post that does seem funny to your enfeebled sense of humour.


Arpita said...

Yes...hospitalize...lol. Indian enlgish, Entry from backside only!
Okay, so now that you need criticism, I'll be more than happy to provide it. Firstly, the length. Yes yes, we know that you've read Wodehouse and LoTR, no need to show it in every post of yours. And the way you twist and turn the sentence to describe something, is funny once or twice, but to read the whole post like that is just plain irritating. So in short, stop beating around the bush please. And I dunno why, but your posts still have the formal air about your writing. No flow...the writing seems jerky. So well...you still have a long way to go! ^_^

sachs ..... said...

Gosh...its so true..an i actually found it is so funny(i dnt care if nobody felt dat way)
Okay,enough of praise...lets give u a dose of criticism(u knw its d only thing i m perfect at..)
Now Y u cant u just leave wodehouse in u r bookshelf...!!
A reader can get bored in between an lose intrest(i'm tellin u dis coz i feel every blogger dreams of becumin a prof writer sumday..ofcourse dey r dreams)
Try 2 make it more intresting !!!
English is good and sophisticated ....i was expecting..
I hope Dis is enough for 1st tym//
All d best ....man!!
Keep Blogging